I need to expand on our experience yesterday. I feel I owe you an apology. When I had a go at you outside in the Woolworth’s car park for not telling my sooner that Bianca and her mum were in the shops, that was wrong. That was my anxiety and anger talking. They were saying, “What right do they have to be angry with Stevie?” and “at least my child didn’t need to be bribed or subpeonad to make her statement”. I should have said all this to you instead of telling you off for laughing which I now know is your nervous reaction.
I am not sorry things with Bianca didn’t work out. I kinda had a feeling from the moment I met her that they wouldn’t. Call it mothers intuition if that is what helps you sleep at night but I knew she was a troubled girl who needed help. I knew that you would lie to me when the two of you combined forces and I was petrified something would happen like it did. That is why I tried to keep you close to me not physically but as close as a mother and her teenage daughter can be.
When she wouldn’t cooperate with police I was sooo damn angry with her. I hated her. She chose a boy to protect over you. Then when she started to lie about the things in the case that made me so damn angry too. I am angry with her parents for not raising her to do the right thing but I know that it’s hard to get your child to do what is right at the best of times. I think they were confused more than what I was and had no idea what to do cause they don’t communicate properly.
I know you lost your best friend in all of this but if she is able to get help then maybe her experience isn’t wasted. Maybe that was what she needed in order to get that help. I hope her family is able to see past themselves in order to get her help. I hope this has made her family stronger and that they realise that they need help too. I feel sorry for her too deep down past the anger. She doesn’t have a rock to rely on like you do. She doesn’t have anyone to go to when she makes a bad decision that can tell her everything will be ok. Maybe in another life you two will see each other again? I hope under better circumstances.
I know that you feel betrayed and you should. There are lessons in this experience for you around friendships and who deserves your time. I hope this doesn’t mean that you won’t give of yourself to another friend. Don’t let this make you hard. One day you will make the friends that will support you and they will be there when it matters. I would love nothing more.
Anyway today I will leave it there.